"Being there for my mother – also as a representative"

When a loved one can no longer make important decisions themselves due to illness or age, relatives face great challenges. In this special episode of the podcast "vidaHören", vida member Manfred Pawlek tells how he took over the adult representation for his mother, who suffers from dementia. He talks about bureaucratic hurdles, emotional challenges and the steps that were necessary to find the balance between formalities, his own feelings and his mother's needs. It is a personal story that shows how important solidarity, patience and information are in such phases of life - and how strong you can be when you take responsibility for a loved one.

Adult representation: Protect rights, take responsibility

Since 1 July 2018, adult protection law has replaced the former guardianship law. Adults who can no longer fully manage their affairs themselves receive legal support. Adult representation is a responsible task that creates security and safeguards rights – for those affected as well as for their relatives.

• No incapacitation: The rights of those affected will be preserved.
• Different forms: From freely elected adult representatives to court-appointed representatives.
• One goal: Those affected should be able to live independently and self-determined for as long as possible.

Manfred's path as his mother's representative

For Manfred and his siblings, the step to adult representation was a gradual process: "We noticed that our mother needed more and more support in everyday life. For example, she herself suggested that I become authorized to sign on the account."

When the dementia progressed, it was clear to the family: legal protection was needed. The path led via the trade union vida to a notary. Within a few weeks, Manfred was officially registered as an adult representative.

Duties and emotional challenges

With adult representation comes many tasks: from income and asset management to reporting and accounting obligations to decisions on care, assisted living and medical interventions. The initial phase was intense for Manfred, he recalls: "I had to work my way through a lot of documents, from insurance to my mother's online accounts. That was a lot of effort, but important to keep track of everything."

In addition to bureaucracy, the role of an adult representative requires emotional strength. Manfred found support in his trade union and in the exchange with other affected people.

Tips for relatives

From his experience, Manfred recommends:

• Inform at an early stage – preparation makes an emergency easier.
• Involve family – Joint decisions prevent conflicts.
• Take advantage of support services – the trade union, VertretungsNetz and vidahelp offer knowledge and a strong network.
• Document – Record all receipts, contracts and decisions.
• Talk openly about it – The topic affects us all.